


Five Times Brock Rumlow Tried to Give his Speech (Again)

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Hydra (Marvel), Order Comes From Pain, Tony Flirts with Brock But It's Bad Timing, Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2174466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brock never got to finish his speech about how order comes from pain. He decides to correct that mistake. Crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Brock Rumlow Tried to Give his Speech (Again)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Пять раз, когда Брок пытался толкнуть речь (снова)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334315) by [Arlit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlit/pseuds/Arlit)



> Warnings for Brock acting ridiculous and lots of Brock getting whumped. (I love his character, but it was fun to write him in a silly way for a change).

Brock couldn’t stop thinking about that day. It wasn’t the explosion or even losing the battle that made him angriest.

Brock didn’t get to finish his speech.

The entire time that Brock was waiting for HYDRA to take over – the years of patiently biding his time – Brock was crafting his speech. About how order comes from pain. About his whole philosophy.

He was going to give the speech to Cap. What could be more fitting? But then Cap was a little more… determined in the elevator than they expected.

He tried giving it to Cap’s friend, the guy who showed up with wings. But that guy was just rude about it. He totally wouldn't listen. And then, well, the explosion.

So here Brock was, finally out of the hospital, and all set to make some SHIELD agents pay for what they did to HYDRA. Hell, maybe some Avengers too.

And this time, they definitely weren’t getting out of hearing the speech.

The new speech. (In the hospital, Brock had made some improvements. The speech was a whole lot longer now).

\--

It wasn’t easy to track Coulson down, but when he finally did, it was delicious. The new leader, ripe for the picking.

“SHIELD will never win. It doesn’t have a chance. Order only comes from pain--”

Brock fell on the floor as Coulson Tasered him.

“Feeling orderly?” Coulson said, looking down at him with a smirk.

“Fuck you,” Brock said. He intended to, anyway. It may have come out as “Fnhhhhhwuuu.”

\--

Brock didn’t take long to escape SHIELD custody again. It was kind of his thing.

But for the next target, he figured he'd take someone soft. Like a scientist.

Dr. Bruce Banner wasn’t technically in SHIELD, but his files were among the most heavily classified. Brock figured Banner was probably a top level scientist if he was part of the Avengers Initiative. Maybe he was working on building a suit like Stark’s.

He’d be an excellent asset to HYDRA’s science division.

It took a long time to find him, but then word came down that he’d be visiting L.A. to see Stark. Brock posed as his taxi driver, drove him away from the airport to a vacant lot, and pulled a gun on him.

“You’re part of HYDRA now,” Brock said. “HYDRA will always be victorious. HYDRA understands that order comes from--”

“You have no idea who I am,” Bruce said then, as if he had suddenly discovered a very amusing fact.

“You’re a scientist. And you work for HYDRA now,” Brock said. He gave a glare that had sent many trained operatives into trembling fits of fear.

Banner seemed completely unfazed. “You should go find out who I am,” Bruce said, smiling slightly. He seemed a bit patronizing, if anything.

“Why’s that?”

“Trust me. Before you do anything stupid, find out who I am,” Bruce said, voice steelier now, though just as soft.

Brock wanted to laugh. This scientist couldn’t possibly think he could bluff his way out of this one.

And yet.

There was something in Brock’s gut, some instinct....

And Brock wouldn’t have survived this long if he ignored his instincts.

He unlocked the doors and let Banner out. He breathed a sigh of relief as Banner walked away, though he really didn’t understand why.

\--

Brock decided to go after one of Coulson’s favorite’s next: Clint Barton.

He had worked on his speech some more. Especially the part about the importance of order.

He got an arrow in his ass cheek when he was still 200 yards away.

He pulled it out and decided that Clint Barton was too much trouble.

\--

Clearly, SHIELD agents were aware that Brock was targeting him. It only made sense to go after valuable SHIELD assets and consultants instead. They wouldn't see him coming.

If he could get Iron Man under the control of HYDRA, that would be a huge victory. He could just see all the SHIELD agents’ faces as the Iron Man suits started attacking them.

It wasn’t hard to pull a drunk Tony Stark out of a party and into a supply closet in the hallway.

“Whoa, you’re not usually my type, but I’m open-minded,” Tony slurred.

“We’re not – listen! Hail HYDRA!”

“HA!!! Good one!!” Tony said, thinking that Brock clearly must have been being sarcastic. “Wait, where’s my drink?”

“HEY! Forget about drinks! Listen carefully! Order comes from pain--”

“Now that is just ridiculous,” Tony said, waving his hand dismissively.

“What?!?” Brock said.

“Order comes from pain? Impossible.”

“But – but – what???”

Tony shrugged and grabbed the wall to stay standing. “Patterns of order characterize, like, all matter in the universe. Pain is only felt by the subset of living organisms with nervous systems. Do you know what a small subset of matter is comprised by living organisms with nervous systems? It’s so small it might as well be infinitesimal! Pffttt. ‘Order comes from pain.’ Yeah, if you have the scientific understanding of a 3-year-old.”

Brock stood there, eyebrows knitted. He said nothing for a long time.

“Hey, you want to go get some more drinks?” Tony said then, leaning closer.

“You know what? HYDRA doesn’t want someone like you!” Brock said, then stormed out.

He was really starting to hate the Avengers.

\--

After a lot of thinking, Brock decided that this was all Steve Rogers’ fault. If he had just listened in the first place, none of this would have happened.

So Brock developed a plan. And then he showed up at Steve’s apartment.

“Hey, Cap. Before you touch me, be aware that this is a dead man’s switch and it’s wired to make a bomb go off in the shopping center across the street. Now you’ll come with me or I’m going to--”

“Hey, Steve, who’s at the door?” a voice said, and then the Winter Solider appeared behind Rogers.

“Uhhh…” Brock said.

“You look familiar,” the Winter Soldier said, narrowing his eyes at Brock.

“Nope. Never met ya. Sorry,” Brock said, “Gotta go. See you around, Cap.”

He handed Rogers the switch to the explosives and ran like hell.

He was starting to think that he was never going to get to give his speech.


End file.
